When we begin to interrogate our patterns of living, and our addiction to busyness, it can be tempting to stay on the surface. I mean, for a lot of us fighting past feelings of anxiety about resting is already a seemingly insurmountable roadblock, it’s daunting enough to even try to rest. Whether it’s guilt about not working or being productive, or anxiety about what feels like just giving yourself less time to get through your to-do list; these feelings can be big enough to keep us from resting at all, or they devour our precious rest time. 

Last week I encouraged us to dig a little deeper, and this week, the call is the same. 

As I shared, when my sister asked me why I was so reluctant to take a break, I struggled to answer the question because these feelings were so big. Digging a bit deeper I found an anxiety based on negative self-beliefs kept me.

But that was only one prong. Our habits are rarely rooted in one belief.

Leaning into rest has allowed time, and the Lord, to reveal more roots. So, I’ve come to realize that another ugly root of my restlessness is fear. I’ve been afraid that if I slowed down and truly checked in with myself and my life, I would realize some hidden dislike of the status quo of my life.

And while this likely isn’t everyone’s fear, I don’t think I’m alone in it. 

I worried that:

Maybe my body will reveal things I’m not ready to hear. Perhaps a scary diagnosis. Or, maybe I deeply dislike my work and the life I’ve built for myself. What if the pace of my life fundamentally doesn’t work and I need a major overhaul? Maybe it slowing down would reveal a deep-seated discontentment that my busyness has concealed. Or even hurts I thought I’d put behind me. 

The Sacred Gift of Slowing Down

As Dr. Dalton-Smith said: “In the stillness, we’re afraid of what we might find, so we keep moving.”

The enemy scares us with the worst projections of feelings we haven’t yet examined. And honestly? I’m convinced this is one of the tools he uses to keep us from the abundant life God has for us. In reality, our feelings aren’t usually this ugly or destructive, those projected feelings are simply fear fueled by burnout and the hopelessness it yields. 

When you’re busy and burned out, your ability to experience positive anticipation (excitement) shrinks, and your brain, in an effort to protect you, focuses on negative projections of the future (anxiety). So of course, these big scary questions are the ones that dominate your mind when you’re trapped on the treadmill of busyness. 

God revealed this fear to me by telling me:

“You’re missing out on so much that I have for you, because you won’t stop!”

It was a sentence that stopped me in my tracks. 

In that one sentence, God highlighted both my unintended disobedience, and that my fear was keeping me from somethingmuch more delightful. And scary in a much healthier way. 

Yes, when we slow down we can more clearly see our lives. Yes, we can reassess and reevaluate things and it is likely that we may see areas where we desire change. But that’s precisely the difference: desire. 

When we slow down, our needs, wants, and desires to rise to the surface. Our hopes for ourselves and those around us begin to speak, and our imaginations are filled with expectation. 

And that is the good kind of scary! 

Because that is VISION.

Walking in abundant life requires change, and that might feel scary! But allowing ourselves to reflect, ask God what He is asking of us, and share with Him the desires of our hearts, is the only way there. Flooding our lives with busy work, relationships, or things that fill time but do not fulfill those desires, that is the fear filled life that walks us further and further away from the abundant life. 

I am learning that this is one of the gifts of slowing down. We truly don’t know what God might want to do in and through us, if we’re not willing to slow down enough to hear what He has to say. 

Scriptural Meditations

Matthew 11vs 28-30

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 

29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 

30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Musical Meditations

Photo by Caleb Woods on Unsplash